


Sense and Understanding

by In_Time_of_Peril



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Painful headcanons lead to painful fic!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 15:47:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7580329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/In_Time_of_Peril/pseuds/In_Time_of_Peril
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke Skywalker, hero of the Rebel Alliance and aspiring Jedi Knight, comes into possession of a number of holovids made by his father, Anakin Skywalker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sense and Understanding

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by my own random wondering if any surviving recordings of Anakin, from Kanan's holocron to even just a random 'vid, could ever have fallen into Luke's hands.  
> This takes place somewhere after the _Skywalker Strikes!_ storyline of the New Canon Marvel _Star Wars_ comic line (and thus also after the portion of _Darth Vader_ 6 which reiterates Vader's learning Luke's identity) but of course well before the events of _The Empire Strikes Back_.

The projector froze, gave off a slight hum, and Luke dove quickly to deactivate it. A cursory inspection revealed no obvious trouble, but he was cautious as he switched the device on again. He couldn't afford to lose this recording. When the machine pinged softly, then began to run as it should, he huffed out a heavy sigh.

_"Each form of lightsaber combat has its own advantages and disadvantages,"_ the figure in the holovid explained.  
 _"It's up to the individual, with a little help from their instructors, to decide which form they can best practice. Learning the form or forms that work for you, for your own movement and ability, is key to sharpening your skill and to learning how to best defend yourself and your comrades."_

The young Jedi in the recording smiled, and Luke couldn't help grinning back as he unclipped his saber - well, his father's saber - from his belt. His grin turned briefly to a chuckle; that he was wielding the same weapon as his "teacher" amused him.

_"Form I is basic, ancient, but it is the root of all lightsaber combat. You may not use it often on its own, but through it, you will learn all of the motions and balances to guide you into the other styles."_

Luke mimicked the man's movements, the slashes and twists of the blade. In the recording, Anakin Skywalker was facing a training remote, but his son settled at the moment for simply going through the motions.

When this 'vid, along with a handful of others and a holocron or two, had turned up, Luke had never imagined that he might finally see his own father among the many Jedi immortalised in the recordings. He had been idly scanning through the footage one day, just seeing what there was to see, when the image of a certain Jedi seemed almost to call to him, to pull him back. At his excited shout, Leia had come rushing along the corridor of the small base they were temporarily stationed at.

"Is something wrong?" the princess and former senator asked, her fingers curling lightly 'round the grip of her blaster.

"No, I - sorry. No, it's just - that's my father! That's Anakin Skywalker."

Leia had leant down, studied the image.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. There are occasional labels and - that's my father."

After a long moment, Leia had nodded.

"I can see a resemblance, I think. His eyes are like yours."

"You think so?"

"Mm-hmm."

"This is incredible! I've never seen my father, you know? He died when I was a baby, and there were never any images of him at the farm, and..."

Luke had trailed off when he had seen the sadness crossing Leia's features.

"Oh, hey, I'm sorry, I didn't..."

"No! No, it's all right. You're happy, and that's understandable. I know how I feel about the images and 'vids I have of my parents. And I don't know **what** I'd do if I ever happened across something about my birth parents. I'm happy you found this, Luke."

"Thanks."

She had left then, and Luke had stared off in the direction she went for a long time. They had both lost their families, their whole worlds. Leia's world literally **was** lost, obliterated forever. As he grew more attuned to the Force, to the feelings of those around him, Luke sensed Leia's sadness very often. He only wished there was something he could do for her. Some way to make things right again.

That had all been in the past. Now, in the moment, Luke was lost in his training, eagerly absorbing the knowledge offered by the long-dead Jedi in the recordings. Obi-Wan was here too, a few times. A much younger, more robust Obi-Wan, with merrily twinkling eyes but the same cool, composed manner. And there were others; so many others. Beings who were wise and kind and wonderful. It hurt Luke to think that he would never meet them in person.

And always, **always** , he returned to the few images of his father. After the first recording, he had found a few more, as well as a few recordings of his father not alone, but teaching alongside other Jedi. He had even found recordings of youngling training sessions, and had picked his father out among the other Jedi children, at first a small, plump-faced boy, later a slightly gangling adolescent.

Sometimes, he thought he'd give anything to have known his father, even for a little while. To have had the strong, wise man around to teach him, and to care for him. Not that he would trade a day of his time with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, but to have known his father, and his mother as well, was something that he often found himself wishing for at all sorts of random times.

Once he had exhausted himself with his training, Luke switched off the projector, stowed his lightsaber carefully, and went off to grab a quick shower. When he returned to his small, cramped quarters, he flopped listlessly onto the hard rack, mind still racing. Eventually, however, a sense of not calm, but sudden, swift tiredness, rolled over him, and he fell into sleep as a stone drops through water.

He was in a room, then, strange and echoing. Stone floor, stone walls, an enormous vaulted ceiling overhead set with thick panes of transparisteel through which blue light filtered lazily. There was a presence behind him, imposing, fierce, a little frightening. His mind, what little of it hadn't quite processed that he was dreaming, flashed to his encounter with Vader on Cymoon I, and instantly his hand flew to his belt, seeking the comfortable grip of his lightsaber - but finding nothing. Luke whirled quickly, catching a hint of motion though the shadows at the periphery of his vision.

"Are you afraid?" a voice, strange-yet-familiar, warm-yet-icy, called.

"Who are you?"

Someone laughed, a rich, rolling sound, and then a figure emerged from the darkness.

"F-father?"

"I've waited a long time to hear someone call me that."

Anakin Skywalker opened his arms, and without a moment's hesitation Luke ran to his father, embracing him as if he had done so every day for years.

"Is it really you, Father?"

"I suppose so. Is it really you, Son?"

Laughing, Luke stepped back from the hug, feeling his father's right hand remain on his shoulder with a steel-strong grip.

"I'm dreaming," Luke said, and shook his head.

"Well, we all dream, now and again. You've become strong. Very strong."

"I've tried."

"You learn quickly. This is good. You take instruction, and yet you're unafraid to question. To seek other ways. Better ways."

His father's smile was kind, warm, and yet it didn't seem - whole. It seemed brittle. Lacking. Perhaps it was only the imperfection of a spirit conjured in a dream.

Perhaps.

"Father?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think - will I ever be as great as you?"

Anakin's smile faltered for a moment, became a half-frown. Then the smile returned, broader, more real than before, and yet still somehow - wrong.

"Oh yes, Son. Yes, I think you could become quite a great figure indeed."

In spite of the strangeness, the falsity of it all, Luke felt himself smiling too.

"I wish I'd known you, Father."

"Perhaps you will," Anakin said, with an odd little quirk of the brow.

"I mean **really** know you. I wish there were more than just recordings, dreams..."

"Why do you assume that you cannot know me?"

"Because you - you're gone. Obi-Wan told me - he told me what happened."

"Did he?"

Luke nodded, suddenly unable, even here in a dream, to meet his father's gaze. The grip on his shoulder squeezed more tightly for a moment, then released.

"You will know me, Son. I can assure you, we will meet again."

"When, Father? Where?"

"That I cannot say. But soon enough. Until then, know that what you see - what you learn from those recordings is not even the barest sliver of the fullness of the Force. Some of the teachings are even, perhaps, not well suited to one of your abilities. You could benefit from a stronger training. A quicker, deeper path. And - "

For a moment, Anakin Skywalker fell silent. Luke dared to look at him again, to look into the eyes that were so like his own.

"Yes, Father?"

"I believe, with the proper training, that you will become more powerful than you can now imagine. You could change the galaxy, my son, in any way that you wish."

A strange feeling of warmth spread through Luke's chest. Could this be more than a dream? Could his father be reaching out to him through the Force, from beyond death? It felt so real. Stronger than any dream. But suddenly, Anakin Skywalker moved away, turned to stride back into the shadows.

"Father!" Luke called, and the imposing figure turned back.

Anakin's head was tilted quizzically to the side.

"Are you proud of me?" Luke asked.

He thought he saw the figure of Anakin Skywalker nod slightly before it faded into nothingness.

******

Something burned at the back of Darth Vader's throat, rising up to an ache behind his soft palate. It was no fault in his breathing apparatus, nor an issue with his meditation chamber. No, this was a feeling that he knew well from his days as what might have been considered a real human being. It was the threat of unshed tears determined to breach the bounds.

"Yes, my s-s-son," the Sith Lord managed, his emotion playing havoc with the controls which kept his lung functions in check.  
"I am proud."

As his helmet lowered down from the dome of the chamber, the tiny vestige of Anakin Skywalker melted away, replaced with the bitter steel of Vader.

_'And'_ he thought, feeling the seals pop into place, seeing the chamber part around him, _'I'll be prouder still when you're at my side, serving as my apprentice in our new Sith Empire.'_


End file.
